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HyperIchigo
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Name: Francine
Birthday: 7/15/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Calpico, Curry, Yakisoba, Miyavi, Han Jin Park San
Expertise: Inspiring artist, Miyavi is my husaband while Miki Nakashima is my wife =]
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  HyperIchigo
Member Since:
11/24/2004
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| Having a cigarette gets me to this place where I sit and think about stuff, and truly feel like I'm having a greater then life experience.
I don't like cigarettes that much, but I do get in those once In a blue moon moments that I just got to have one.
I feel like Painting I feel like whats going on doesn't matter that much, but at the same moment it does.
I really want to make history and I don't. I want to stare at new scenery. Hear new voices and make a song.
Wear some new sunglasses and walk through someones mind, if such a thing is possible. Want to be taken to a new world, new worlds that exist with in a persons' mind. God I wish I could of done something to keep you, but I know thats impossible. I never will regret the love I felt for you.
I'm so glad I still have you in my life still, even though it's so faint. You still there, I know I'm changing I know you gone and changing too.
But your still there.
I can't wait to fall in love like I did with you, and feel it back, it's gonna be great the world is gonna change. I won't be the same and neither will you.
I'll wait patiently till that day, but I'm not gonna slow down I'll pick the pace up. I'll create I'll explore and I'll keep growing.
The scent of a cigarette it brings me back to when I was there with you. How I always gave that lame excuse I'm not smoking anymore as I reach for it.
Sometimes I seriously want to be a writer, but I wonder who would read it, what they would think. If I accidently stir something with in them that inspires them or related to them.
I think that I'm a little bit of everything, I love to write, draw, paint, create, sing, travel, think. Were probably all like this. Today I just want to think.
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| I was standing in the esuper market, and staring at a box of fireworks, all the crappy drawing ths stupid names and the faint smell of gunpowder. Brought back memeories, on how I used to get so excited and read all the fireworks names and what thier abilities were behind the plastic wrap. The stickers of a hand holding a roman candle with big warning signs of DO NOT HOLD LIT. And you know what I got this 4th? Working from 9-5:30 a drive home and a regular dinner, with some techno music playing in the backround. And a movie about a whore druggy chained inside a black man's house trying to set her straight. I finally glace at my phone to find everyone's off to see the big frie show in the sky. And I'm stuck here, while the family falls asleep early on fucking Independance day. I should of just said "fuck it" and left earlier when I had the chance, I'm outgrown of my family, they don't care about holidays and the rest of my friends are trying to preserve and make good memories. I'm going to stop feeling obligated to staying here on holidays that they arn't going to bother celebrating because they don't care. So pissed, I'm on my computer listening to the night sky sounding like it's a stomach with promblems because fireworks are being set off in the distance. Guess I'll make myself go to bed and try to block out all the shit I'm bothered about. | | |
| I've been acting so blah lately. I sleep all day long and throw in mini nap times all day. Then I just get nightmares, and feel even more tired around the house. I was actually productive today, i made a collage thingy for my dad, and I washed my car and wrote a letter of resignation to turn in tomorrow. Though I still feel like I've accomplished nothing at all today.. I want to feel something, I don't want to be blah. I need more coffee. New music, I need new friends. New foods, covers for my bed, a new drink to taste, want to watch a movie, want to dance so bad, feel wind on my face, swim in a pool, watch the clouds float by while laying down on a grassy field. I want to walk around, go to the montains, get lost inside a beautiful forest, want to paint on a sunset evening, smell the tropics and the pines. I want to hold holds and I want to fall asleep on someones arm, in someones arms, I want to ride a train far away, want to watch the sunset on the ocean, and the sun rise on top of the tallest mountain. I want to laugh at a joke, I want to be in outer space, I want a converation with someone new that is deep and memorable, want to crush the side of my face with someone elses face while dancing tiredly but oh so alive. I want to make a toast in my honor. I want to write music, want a new haircut, want a new wardrobe, want a new change of pace basicly. I should go off course, I really need that. Life shouldn't be so blah right now, I really need that feeling alive feeling.. but in the city it's so hard...it's so conjested I want the open air, i need to feel like I'm part of a planet again, need to feel the impact that theres something greater than the things I'm doing at this moment. | | |
| I wonder why it's always the guys that really don't let me feel myself that I get attrated to.
I end up wishing that we could have a conversation, that you would come to see me randomly.
Or make me smile throughout the day with a random text or when I reminise on the first time we met.
Instead I get these cold words like,
"what do you want me to do? I'm tired"
"I don't want to talk to you".
We just began but it's already over. Maybe I was blinded for a second there.
But now I see how wrong we are for each other, how you could never understand and appriceate me.
I hate that feeling.
Why is it that something so simple can't be granted.
I just want to stop wasting my time and energy.
I'm a amzaing interesting, funny, artistic person, and it's your lost that you can't even see that.
So in the end this all means good bye.
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| I got to admit that It's really ahrd for me to believe that theres such thing as a love that can last, and a marragie that is actually possible.
But then I read kozyndan's blog and feel that its actually possible.
I just hope that Ill be able to experiance something that beautiful one day.
I want to travel the world with that special someone, and share my memories with them.
Time is a ticking, I'm getting older and thinking about marriage and my career.
Just got to be patient and see where everything goes.
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I adopted a cute lil' giraffe fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
